Friend breakups isn’t a topic that is talked about often. You can find countless articles on romantic breakups… but friend breakups? How do we handle it? How do we know it’s time to breakup?
Many people keep people in their life even when they know it doesn’t feel right. Do you know what I mean?
Just like a romantic relationship... we meet a friend and it feel magical and right, until it stops feeling right. And it actually starts to feel like a chore. Friends are supposed to be fun and supportive people in our life. We want to feel excited to see them.
Listen to this episode to dig deep into friend breakups.
Let’s take Jennifer for example.
Jennifer was friends with Mallory for 13 years. Thats a long time. Jennifer started to notice and hear from friends that Mallory was trying to turn her other friends against her. She wanted as much attention as possible. Jennifer didn’t want to believe it as first, but other friends confirmed her behavior. The friendship finally ended after some lies were exposed and Jennifer couldn’t deny what was really going on. They broke up. She says she still misses Mallory, but knew she wasn’t being a friend. She stood up for what was best for her, even though she really loved Mallory.
Let’s take Samantha for example:
Samantha was friends with Julie since freshmen year of college. They did EVERYTHING together in college. After college was a different story. They started to have different interests. It often felt like they had different worlds. Pretty soon it was harder to make plans since their lives were so different. Samantha didn’t want to let Julie go. They had so many awesome memories. At the same time she was less excited to see her when they did agree on something. She finally sat Julie down to chat about their friendship. Although it was a tough conversation, it needed to be had. It freed up so much emotional energy for both of them. They both were starting to feel resentment for their friendship not going how they wanted. They both acknowledged that their friendship had changed. They decided to keep in touch, but without the expectations of being ‘best friends’ like they were doing. They aren’t close anymore, but when they do see each other it’s fun to catch up on old times in college. They are both so glad they communicated their truth so they could move forward with their new shifted relationship.
Friend Breakups are hard. We love them. We are attached to them. But sometimes, it just not part of the plan to keep these people in our lives so closely. And that is OK.
What’s most important is for you to speak your truth and always do what feeds your soul. You deserve a life that feels right. You deserve a life with friendships that feel natural and fully support you.